| Though raised in a Christian
home and accepting of my parent's faith in my childhood, by the time I
turned sixteen I had begun to question the main tenet of the Christian
faith--that Jesus is the Son of God. My doubts grew as I pondered
other religions all teaching different things and wondered how I could
know any one religion was right. This period of confused searching
continued until the month I turned nineteen. (March 1996) when I belived
on the Lord Jesus Christ as the Son of God and as the answer to my sin
and separation from God. I had long desired to know God in an intimate way if He was at all to be known. I wanted to know that God accepted and loved me, but until that time I had been unable to believe the biblical and Christain teaching that Jesus Christ, sinless and perfect, had died on a cross bearing the weight of the sins of mankind in order to reconcile us to God. This meant that Christ was the bridge between God and man. ("Jesus saith unto him, I am the way, the truth, and the life. No man cometh unto the Father but by me." John 14:6). He had paid the full price for my sin and everyone else's and all I had to do was believe on Him. For me, this took a lot of humility. I had never wanted to believe that I deserved to go to hell for my sinful nature. Nothing I had ever done seemed so bad as that. But on the day I believed in Christ, I recognized that in God's eyes every sin was horrible, and that my pride and selfishness alone were enough to condemn me. I wanted the rescue from condemnation that Christ offered--forgiveness, a clean heart, adoption into God's family as a child of God ("But as many as received Him, to them gave he power to become the sons of God, even to them which believe on his name...which were born...of God." John 1:12,13a,c) I can honestly say that my greatest desire, the thing I wanted more than anything else in the world on that day in March, was to know that I belonged to God and always would. As I prayed asking God for this, assurance and joy grew in my heart that He had heard my prayer and answered it. I felt thankful and full of praise and adoration and love for God who had led me to Himself. Forgiveness felt absolutely wonderful. Since believing in Jesus Christ as Savior and LORD, I have wanted to know Him better and better. Reading the Bible, God's Word, has become a daily part of my life. So has prayer, meditation on Him, and desiring to live in a way that pleases Him. Learning to live for the One who redeemed me is very challenging and I think it always will be, but even when I'm not sure what God wants in my life, the desire to find out propells me to keep seeking Him and learning more about Him. He is wonderful and He is faithful to those who trust Him. He has promised to His people, "I will never leave thee, nor forsake thee." (Hebrews 13:5b) and "the name of the Lord is a strong tower; the righteous runneth into it and is safe." (Proverbs 18:10) He also hears and answers the prayers of his people in amazing ways. |