| "Blessed be the Lord, who daily loadeth us
with benefits, even the God of our salvation. Selah." - Psalms 68:19
|
The Way We MetJacob and I were fifteen years old when we met each other Fall 1992. Jacob just showed up one day at the small Christian highschool where I attended. I happened to be taking pictures of all my classmates that day and since I had included everyone else I also took a picture of Jacob--the first day I met him.I knew nothing of Jacob that day we met. His family had lived in seven cities and towns prior to moving to Rochester, NY where I lived. His father was (and is) a construction manager for McCarthy Construction Co. For a long time the company had focused primarily on constructing hospitals and this concentrated focus had resulted in a lot of moving for Jacob's family as his father had to move each time to oversee a new hospital construction in a different part of the country. For months after Jacob came to my school, we had little conversation. At first it would have seemed we had little in common. I liked poetry and writing and, though quiet, abounded full of idealism and excitement for life. Jacob seemed born to be an engineer and struck me as calm, easygoing and also quiet. When we had to choose topics for an English research paper that year, Jacob choose something technical while I choose something "interesting." Or so I thought, until I teased Jacob about his "boring" choice of topic and he began to describe why it interested him. He had an amazing talent for explaining topics that I had considered technical and dull in ways that flushed out what made them interesting and alive. On the other hand, when I expressed my delight in the simple beauty of the lilacs I looked forward to blooming each spring, I was able to help him appreciate simple joys of life in a new way. One day while out for a class trip to a large public library to work on our research papers, Jacob and I sat across from each other and talked. As he told me some of his experiences moving across the country, I began to think his life had been very interesting. Perhaps mine had been dull by comparison. The more we talked, the more Jacob showed me a side of life I'd never seen and the more I revealed a perspective new to him. We also discovered a mutual appreciation for books and reading and for thinking deeply about our lives, the world around us, and the things we believed important. On a mild spring day in April 1993 sitting outside on the steps of our school at lunchtime, Jacob asked me to be his girlfriend. When I agreed, I don't think either of us had an inkling of what we were truly doing. In the months and years to come, when we would argue, and when maintaining the relationship would get tough, both of us were by nature such non-quitters that we would invariably choose to work out our difficulties rather than breaking up. In this way we managed to stay best friends and still dating through the remainder of our tenth grade year, eleventh grade, twelfth grade, and our first two years of college. |
| "There is no wisdom nor
understanding nor counsel against the Lord" -Proverbs 21:30
- Amos 3:3
|
Difficult TimesWhen we hit college, things grew very challenging. Jacob went away to Case Western Reserve University. in Ohio and I to Pensacola Christian College in Florida. In the meanwhile, Jacob's family moved to St. Louis, Missouri. Suddenly we went from being high school sweethearts to barely seeing one another. As we both had to work and struggle to pay for our schooling, even the cost of calling each other long distance was something we could barely manage. I wanted the chance to get to know some other guys on my college campus and Jacob agreed to this, never telling me at the time how much it troubled him. I quickly discovered that no one held a candle to Jake for me. This time of casual dating confirmed to me that Jacob was not only my best friend but the one I could be absolutely myself with, but it also added to the strain were were experiencing.In addition to the difficulty of the long-distance relationship, Jacob and I were both faced with spiritual and moral questions that we were each separately pondering. I had believed on Christ in college and was now considering my life in light of what would please God. I knew that Jacob had always been so absorbingly important to me that I had given God only a backdoor key to my heart. I worried that as long as we were together, it might never be any different. Jacob, who had trusted Christ in high school, was facing similar concerns and also some concerns entirely different. The result was that on August 30, 1997, Jacob and I broke up with each other. Both of us would say it was the hardest thing we ever had to do, and yet both of us would also say that at the time we were certain it was the only right thing we could do. |
| "Seek him that maketh the seven stars and
Orion, and turneth the shadow of death into the morning, and maketh the
day dark with night: that calleth for the waters of the sea, and poureth
them out upon the face of the earth: The LORD is his name:" - Amos 5:8
|
Our Years ApartThe consequences of our breakup were many. We spent the next four and a half years apart from each other, always in different cities and not so much as calling or writing each other except for a few times at first. We learned that life without each others' friendship was like a different world. Every time Jacob saw a lilac he thought of me. Each time I received my monthly subscription to Scientific American I thought of him. During those first years apart, our faith become the most important thing in life to us. For me it was because life seemed empty without Jake and no friend or hobby could fill the void. Only the reality of God's love for me brought lasting comfort and I spent hours each week pouring over the Bible to learn what God had to say to me and praying to tell Him all that was in my heart to say to Him. I was amazed by the peace and joy those times alone with God brought.Also I began to develop deeper and more lasting and strong friendships with roomates and other friends at college. My friend Lisa Faidley (then Pletcher) was a lifesaver to me. She listened when I felt bitterness toward Jacob and taught me forgiveness and love. Brandy Caprice was brightness. Mirren and Taryn were strength. Lauren sharpened my convictions about right and wrong and the way I would choose to live. Lisa Newland brought wonderful conversations about eternity and hope and the mystery of getting to have a relationship with the God who had created the universe. Julie made me laugh about life and classes and everything and prayed with me, too. Kristine was fresh air and brightness and hope, a listener and friend who always cared. Jacob, too, during this time, plunged himself into Bible reading, activities with friends, prayer, church, and seeking a deeper walk with God. He met with other believers for prayer and studying the Bible and also had weekly one-on-one time with a Christian Bible Fellowship missionary, Dave Fergeson, who helped him study issues of the Bible in depth. This was life-changing for him. During the four(+) years after our breakup, Jacob and I knew very little of what happened in each other's lives. When Jacob lived for a time in Dallas, I only found out because I ran into an old mutual friend of ours who had recently received an email from Jake. Occasionally I received a letter from Jacob's mother telling how the whole family was doing with a little blurb about Jacob. This was how I learned he had graduated from college with his electrical engineering degree and was considering job opportunities in three different states. I, too, had graduated and I had found work back home in Rochester where I also helped in children's sunday school, choir, bus ministry, and had become very involved in my church. |
| "Praise ye the LORD... He healeth the
broken in heart, aand bindeth up their wounds." - Psalms 147:1,4
"For the LORD God is a sun and shield: the LORD will give grace and glory: no good thing will he withhold from them that walk uprightly." - Psalms 147:1,4
|
A New StartOne day after it had been four years, I found myself really missing Jacob. It was September 11th, 2001. In the sorrow I felt over our nation's tradgedy, I immediatly wanted to be near my mom, my dad, my brother, and, to my surprise, Jacob Warner. I wanted the old friendship that had been so comforting and accepting. I had missed Jacob many times over the years, but had believed the breakup to be final. This day, after an amount of time that seemed unbridgable, I dared to think of praying otherwise. I would not call Jacob. I had decided long ago that I never would. But in the weeks and months after September 11th, I prayed that God would bring us together--out of nowhere, as it were--that He would do for us what seemed impossible. On October 25th I received a phone call from my dad who sounded very surprised. "Jacob Warner called me today. He asked my permission to call you." Four days later my phone rang. It was Jacob. The following weekend he made the four hour drive to Rochester from Albany, NY, where he now lived and we saw each other again for the first time. He traveled that four hour trip to see me just about every single weekend from then until September 14, 2002, when we were married in Rochester, NY at First Bible Baptist Church.We live in the Albany area now. Jacob works as a consulting engineer with Giant Solutions LLC and I keep the home, enjoying many hobbies such as cooking, scrapbooking, and writing  . (I graduated from PCC with a
B.S. in Communications, concentration in Commercial Writing).
Jacob is the most wonderful husband a woman could have this side
of heaven. (I fear he may delete this line when he sees it, but I'm
hoping he won't). We attend Lighthouse Baptist Church
in Schenectady, NY and appreciate the wonderful people there who welcome
us with a smile and with love. Jacob's family moved to Albany and
lived here our first year of marriage. We loved being so close to them.
Recently they moved to Iowa and we miss them, but we are most thankful
to God who has blessed us in so many ways. |